The Word of God

Creative Courage and the White Sailboat

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God’s grace produces the creative courage to find inventive solutions to seemingly impossible, difficult situations. People who are quiet and find stillness during the day, however brief, can do great things. Let’s be one of them.  ~Caro Vanni

People who have had near-death experiences truly amaze me. I think you would be surprised how many people you know who have actually come real close to the end of earthly existence and seem to have an extra edge on life, or at least, in my opinion, they do. Sometimes they feel like they have left their own body, seen a bright light, and whenever they start to talk about it, their entire body begins to launch into drama mode and right there and then, you know you will not be able to go anywhere for at least the next forty minutes. Trauma is like that, too, although it is on a completely different playing field. There may not be bright lights and angelic voices, but the dramatic response is certainly there. There are the emotional and psychological responses to deeply distressing and disturbing events no matter how little or petty they may seem to someone else. While the two are related they are different for everyone.

This will be the first time that I write directly about my own trauma and how over the last eleven years I have found remarkable insight and love from some of the most unpredictable places and of course from those I expected. I remember telling people that my life had been hit by a spiritual and emotional tsunami because, for one, I had heard that description from a Country and Western song. Secondly, I thought it adequately told the realistic story of losing everything, many friends, a home, belonging, and the most frightening for me, purpose.

Without making this autobiographical, it is sufficient to say that what God has taught me is something that others have called creative courage. When life seems to be finished, dark, and gloomy, the only way to survive is to remember what was accomplished on the Cross for us and follow suit. For me, that has meant finding quiet and stillness as often as possible, and discovering trusted and trusting voices who would listen to those results without a judgmental disposition or critical comment. I believe we must all find creative ways to be brave, honest, and kind to move through these very dark nights of the soul. I praise my Jesus for never leaving my side and for the family and friends He has never failed to send. The Sacraments have been awesome reminders of Heaven, and without a doubt a wonderful informed and shared sense of humor is a must!

Not too far from where I live, there is a very hard-working gentleman who has been quite successful with his quaint and wildly popular Italian Restaurant. We have become good friends and every time I walk in, I know there is a special booth he knows I like to frequent. I normally sit toward the wall where I can scope and study a rather large painting of an Italian port city which conjures up happy memories from my past and hopes of visiting Italy once again next year. There is one detail that always catches my eye. It is a single white sailboat clearly and strategically placed right in the middle of the bay. Whenever possible my friend the owner comes and sits with me, and we exchange mutual stories of victory and challenge. I instinctively point to that sailboat and tell him, “That’s me on that boat,” quiet, reflective, and happy. This is where the energy and strength begin to swell because there’s Someone else in that boat with me and I don’t ever intend to let Him go.

Now I do not intend to give the impression that I have cornered the market on how to deal with trauma. The main reason I shared this with you is that from time to time, given the right set of circumstances, the anxiety levels go through the roof, panic sets in, and, somewhat infrequently, I start to gasp for air. This is common with trauma. Thank God those have been largely under control. But what I want to say is that my life is so much better now than it has ever been and I can honestly reveal that I enjoy each singular moment without exception and without ever taking anything or anyone for granted. I am still trying to act nobly, forgive as often as I can, and find as many moments as possible on my sailboat. 

I highly recommend that you do the same.

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